Newer and better orgasms

A client of mine recently asked how he might improve his orgasms:

"When I have an orgasm it feels amazing, like an all-over-my-body good feeling that I enjoy a lot and want to make happen again. However, I have read that my orgasms can be even better. What can I do to have the extra-amazing, more top-of-the-line orgasms I deserve?"

This is an excellent question and one that I get asked all the time.

For starters I reassured the client (in case there was any doubt in his mind, though I don't think there was) that he is not in any way missing the point. His dissatisfaction makes sense: he works hard for his orgasms and is entitled to the best ones available.

I reminded him how natural it is for humans to endeavor to improve upon inherently outstanding natural processes. This defines us: we are all, in our own unique ways, working toward greater, more top-notch peak experiences. Why settle for the top of the mountain? Heaven is higher up, above the mountain. Keep climbing!

To that end I suggested he enhance his orgasm experiences through breath work, scrotal massage, and by taking 15 mg of organic moose placenta daily.

(Note: I recommend Platinum Orgasm™, which is 2000% pure and features a whipped, creamy texture perfect for use in smoothies.)

After purchasing a six-month supply of Platinum Orgasm™ moose placenta, my client promised to keep me updated on the incredibleness of his orgasms. Within a few days he ought to be experiencing new and higher realms of sexual enjoyment, thereby enhancing his own happiness and well-being, which will then ripple outward and spread more happiness and well-being to the whole earth, because that's how orgasms work cosmically.

Stay tuned!