Newer and better orgasms

A client of mine recently asked how he might improve his orgasms:

"When I have an orgasm it feels amazing, like an all-over-my-body good feeling that I enjoy a lot and want to make happen again. However, I have read that my orgasms can be even better. What can I do to have the extra-amazing, more top-of-the-line orgasms I deserve?"

This is an excellent question and one that I get asked all the time.

For starters I reassured the client (in case there was any doubt in his mind, though I don't think there was) that he is not in any way missing the point. His dissatisfaction makes sense: he works hard for his orgasms and is entitled to the best ones available.

I reminded him how natural it is for humans to endeavor to improve upon inherently outstanding natural processes. This defines us: we are all, in our own unique ways, working toward greater, more top-notch peak experiences. Why settle for the top of the mountain? Heaven is higher up, above the mountain. Keep climbing!

To that end I suggested he enhance his orgasm experiences through breath work, scrotal massage, and by taking 15 mg of organic moose placenta daily.

(Note: I recommend Platinum Orgasm™, which is 2000% pure and features a whipped, creamy texture perfect for use in smoothies.)

After purchasing a six-month supply of Platinum Orgasm™ moose placenta, my client promised to keep me updated on the incredibleness of his orgasms. Within a few days he ought to be experiencing new and higher realms of sexual enjoyment, thereby enhancing his own happiness and well-being, which will then ripple outward and spread more happiness and well-being to the whole earth, because that's how orgasms work cosmically.

Stay tuned!

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It is with a deep and intentional gratitude that I presence my writing of this blog. As an empath and old soul, and through a process of profound soulful resonance, I encourage others to seek their own deep wisdom intuitively, with self-compassion, and with an inward emphasis on their life's achievements, whether dietary, sexual, or spiritual, in order to deeply enhance their personal and professional resonance and attain goals. In order to make a difference in as many lives as possible, I provide my special blend of empathically pure advice only as I am guided to do so, by divine timing, so that my suggestions are received with abundance to make a lasting impact on the energies of the people with whom I work. I believe in inclusivity and accept not only old souls but also middleaged souls as well as a limited number of baby souls as my schedule allows. Facing a crisis and need a little wisdom? Just ask. I'm here to help with my distinctive and refreshing blend of unprovoked and well-intentioned counsel unburdened by nuance or context and virtually void of deep significance.

I'm here to help!